Why do teenagers and children self-harm? 
The reasons children and teenagers self-harm will be different for everyone. They might not be able to name any one reason they’re self-harming. 

Self‑harm is usually a way for young people to cope with difficult feelings, memories, or situations. With understanding, compassion, and the right support, recovery is possible.  
 

Signs of self-harm in children and teenagers 
Self-harm is when someone hurts themselves on purpose as a way of expressing or relieving distress, overwhelming emotions, or fear.

It can be hard to recognise the signs of self-harm in children and teenagers, but it’s important to trust your instincts if you’re worried something’s wrong. 
 

Some common forms of self-harm include:  

• Cutting themselves. 
• Burning their skin.  
• Scratching or biting themselves. 
• Hitting themselves or walls. 
   

But self-harm isn’t always visible. It can also include taking part in risky or harmful behaviours, such as:  

• Using drugs or alcohol to cope with problems. 
• Unsafe sexual behaviour. 
• Disordered eating, such as under- or over-eating. 
• Excessive exercising. 
• Doing dangerous things / acting in a reckless or unsafe way
   

It can be hard to see self‑harm, especially since many people try to hide it. If you’re concerned, here are common signs to watch for: 

• Unexplained cuts, bites, burns, bruises, bald patches. 
• Always keeping themselves fully covered, for example, wearing long sleeves or trousers even during hot weather or avoiding activities such as swimming.  
• Signs of depression, anxiety or mood swings.   
• Withdrawing from friends or family.  
• Expressing low self-esteem, for example, saying they’re not good enough. 
   

Things to do to help:

• showing them you’re there whenever and however they choose to talk 
• listening and not asking too many questions about why they've self-harmed, which may make them feel judged 
• letting them know that you care about them and want to help them find healthier ways to cope 
• reassuring them it’s OK to be honest with you about what they’re going through.  
• focus on what's causing the self-harm - remember, an underlying problem often causes self-harm. It can be more helpful to focus on what’s causing their feelings rather than on the self-harm itself. 
• Encourage them to find healthy ways to cope e.g. paint, draw or scribble in red ink, deep breathing or going for a walk 
• Help them to build their confidence.  Many children who self-harm suffer from low self-esteem or confidence.  

Remind them about the things they do well. Try to focus on things about their personality rather than things like their academic achievements or sporting abilities. 

• Encourage them to try something new e.g. drawing, music, exercise 
   

Below are some useful websites for tips and advice: 

https://www.nspcc.org.uk/advice-for-families/self-harm/

https://www.barnardos.org.uk/get-support/support-for-parents-and-carers/self-harm-children-young-people#signs

Advice for children can be found via Childline: https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/your-feelings/self-harm/self-harm-coping-techniques/